I’m feeling that a sore throat is about to emerge and I’m trying to defeat it my swallowing gallons of mineral water.

So far, I’m surviving but at the same time, I can feel that my body is getting weaker….

…and my head feels heavy. I feel tired and I want to sleep.

Zzzzzz….

NO NO NOoooooooooooo!!!….

I can’t afford to  fall asleep! I cannot even take a long rest. Considering the time limits, I’m getting panic with so much things to do.  For instance,  I’ve got a big meeting to attend this afternoon. What am I doing to myself???…letting all the stuff swirling in my head and putting no action to it!!!

As informed in the email (probably to silently warn me),

“all the managers and director for MEMs/MicroEnergy will attend this meeting.”

Even though someone else is presenting, I can also feel the chill. It will soon be my turn…

Next week, I’ll be traveling far for about a week.  I’ll have the opportunity to meet the experts in my research field. I also will be visiting some labs for future collaborations insyaAllah. Actually, I’m pressured by this “intellectual atmosphere” because I feel so new to this engineering ‘field’ and my current knowledge about it is probably just  0.1%? I’m terrified of meeting these people while feeling like an empty tin with just air in it…ting  ting  ting.

Well, this is my negative thinking…what I don’t know fears me.

Theoritically, I can’t let this go in my head…

I’m being there to gain knowledge and experience. I’m in the training process. I’m trying as hard as I can to turn the wheel to a positive route. Yes, I’m new and fresh in this field. The mechanical engineering undergraduates know more than me. Yes, I admit this, but I’m not going to let that fact dampen my spirit.

I am new, so I have to learn and work hard. I can’t expect myself to be so full blast of knowledge when I’m just starting. I’m reading all the things that I think I have to know. Yes, I’m getting more blurry and confused with so many input and unfamiliar terms coming in, but I’m trying to digest it.

So, I have to keep on trying, be more focus in my literature and just keep a positive attitude of being thirsty to learn…

just relax in gear 1 for the time being…

but work hard to improve…strategize and execute a plan…

There was on story about a famous muslim leader (astaghfirullah, I forgot his name)…one day, he was instructed to run around a field and can only stop when he feels that he could not take it. So he ran and ran and eventually was puffing  and panting heavily and  yet, he still did not stop running. He still ran with all his might until he suddenly collapse. When his instructor questioned him on why did he not stop, he replied that it was because he was given instructions to run until his  imits which he did not know until he was stopped.

Do you understand the point of this story?

They say, the sky is the limits……

This law is

“Verily never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change it themselves (with their own souls)” From 13: 11.

This law clearly speaks for itself, this is the only way to get out of the hardships we are suffering.
Nothing will change until we start changing ourselves. This also means that if we want to see change in someone or in our surroundings, then start first by changing ourselves. Then, you’ll see the effect coming.

“Verily never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change it themselves (with their own souls)” From 13: 11.

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